Have someone ever made you question your memories, emotions, or even reality? If so, you might have been a victim of gaslighting.
This sneaky form of emotional abuse is more often is a part of narcissistic behavior, especially in relationships. Before we move into details, let us understand the meaning of gaslighting.
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one person makes another doubt their reality. It’s a common tactic in narcissistic behavior, where the goal is to control, confuse, and erode the confidence of the victim.
You are left thinking am I this bad…..
More often than not you will find such people to lack empathy. Even if you cry in front of them they are unaffected.
Such people are driven by excessive self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a deep need for admiration. And, to maintain control over you a narcissist often engages in gaslighting to ensure that their version of reality is the dominant one.
Signs of Gaslighting in a Relationship
If you’re wondering whether you’re experiencing gaslighting in your relationship, here are three red flags to look out for:
1. “You’re too sensitive.”
One of the most common gaslighting tactics is when someone asks you to suppress your feelings. If your partner frequently tells you you’re overreacting or too emotional, they’re indirectly asking you to suppress your emotions.
Imagine telling someone you’re feeling hot, and they respond with, “No, you’re not.” That would be absurd, right? Similarly, when someone tells you how you should or shouldn’t feel, they’re gaslighting you into doubting your emotions.
So what to do at this point?
You don’t need to argue, you can simply state, “This is how I feel, and I have a right to my emotions.”
And, if they continue to dismiss your feelings, recognize that this is a toxic pattern and disengage from the conversation.
2. Deflection and Changing the Subject
Have you ever tried to address an issue with someone, only for them to completely shift the conversation to something else? For example, you bring up a concern about their behaviour, and suddenly, they’re blaming you of something you did two years ago. That’s deflection, and it’s a classic gaslighting move. This is also an example of narcissistic behavior, as narcissists struggle to take responsibility for their actions and prefer to blame others.
At this point, you should try to stay on track and Say “I’m happy to discuss that later, but right now, let’s focus on what I brought up.” If they persist in avoiding the issue, recognize that they are not willing to engage in a healthy conversation.
3. “That never happened.”
Another sign of gaslighting is outright denial. You recall a past event, but the other person insists it never happened. This can be especially damaging because it makes you question your memory and perception. This is a clear example of narcissistic behavior, as narcissists often change the history to serve their own interests.
How to respond: While it might be tempting to prove them wrong with texts, emails, or recordings, this often backfires. A narcissist will either dismiss your evidence or turn it against you, accusing you of being obsessive or controlling. Instead, trust your own recollections and avoid seeking validation from them.
Why Do Narcissists Gaslight?
Many people assume that narcissists gaslight intentionally. But the truth is, their actions are often driven by deep insecurity, a lack of empathy, and an inability to accept responsibility.
Gaslighting helps them maintain control and protect their egos. At this point logic doesnt matter to them , they simply want to preserve their own version of reality.
Related: Traits of toxic people and powerful mind hacks to deal with them
Breaking Free from Gaslighting
If you recognize gaslighting in your relationship, here are some steps to take:
- Trust yourself. Your feelings and memories are valid. Don’t let someone else make you doubt them.
- Set boundaries. If someone repeatedly gaslights you, limit your interactions with them as much as possible.
- Avoid long explanations. Gaslighters rarely listen to reason, so don’t waste energy writing long emails or texts trying to make them understand.
- Seek support. Talk to trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can provide validation and guidance.
- Know when to walk away. If gaslighting is a pattern in your relationship, it might be time to consider whether staying is truly in your best interest.
Final Thoughts
Gaslighting is a powerful and harmful tool used in narcissistic behavior in relationships. It can leave you feeling confused, insecure, and emotionally drained. But by recognizing the signs and taking steps to protect yourself, you can reclaim your reality and move toward healthier relationships.
Remember, your emotions and experiences are real. You don’t need someone else’s permission to feel what you feel. Stand firm in your truth, and don’t let anyone manipulate you into doubting yourself.
Read More: Mind Mapping-a skill to learn now
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